{"title":"EXTINCT FROM SOCIETY","description":"\u003cp\u003eSixty-six million years ago, a few reptiles looked around, weighed up their options, and quietly removed themselves from the situation. Some of us have been trying to do the same ever since.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"armed-tired-leave-me-alone-tee","title":"Armed Tired Leave Me Alone Tee","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThe Armoured Introvert Tee (aka 'Armed. Tired. Leave Me Alone.' Edition)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eSome creatures evolved claws. This one evolved boundaries. Armed. Tired. Leave Me Alone. is for the permanently low-battery — the ones who've been social since the Mesozoic and are thoroughly done with it. A hand-drawn stegosaurus, three honest words, and absolutely no follow-up questions. Perfect for slow mornings, quietly declined invitations, and standing very still until people lose interest. It's not aggression — it's just full armour plating and a dead social battery.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eWhy It's Worth Owning:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[li_\u0026amp;]:mb-0 [li_\u0026amp;]:mt-1 [li_\u0026amp;]:gap-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eSoft ring-spun cotton = armour that actually feels good, unlike the historical kind\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eTear-away label = nothing scratching your neck while you ignore your notifications\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eNo side seams = a clean silhouette for turning your back on a conversation\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eRibbed collar that holds its shape longer than you'll hold eye contact\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eWhite-on-dark print sharp enough to read from a distance — ideally the distance you'd prefer people keep\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eHow to Keep It Alive:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[li_\u0026amp;]:mb-0 [li_\u0026amp;]:mt-1 [li_\u0026amp;]:gap-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eMachine wash cold — low effort, like your social calendar\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eTumble dry low — no heat, no drama, no plans\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eIron low only if you must — though the wrinkles read as extra armour\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eSkip the bleach — the misery is perfect exactly as it is\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eDo not dry clean — that would involve leaving the house\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Silent Vibes","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":54359372071258,"sku":"20739771327646473318","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ S","offer_id":54359372104026,"sku":"24841896879290701748","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ S","offer_id":54359372136794,"sku":"87422946988122822184","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":54359372169562,"sku":"94417443427259388762","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ M","offer_id":54359372202330,"sku":"22159258643326310067","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ M","offer_id":54359372235098,"sku":"33578405425279409936","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":54359372267866,"sku":"32450184896923668562","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ L","offer_id":54359372300634,"sku":"21352766190349320258","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ L","offer_id":54359372333402,"sku":"70873589119703911512","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":54359372366170,"sku":"32237691894460760082","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ XL","offer_id":54359372398938,"sku":"31987807716379702639","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":54359372431706,"sku":"19141841465173946422","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":54359372464474,"sku":"18802541618665259363","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":54359372497242,"sku":"13959002279443073523","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0941\/1084\/3226\/files\/6789567268894020951_2048_91f16e32-81f3-4eb2-9091-65baf76f6923.jpg?v=1782404226"},{"product_id":"solar-powered-still-miserable-tee","title":"Solar Powered Still Miserable Tee","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThe Renewable Misery Tee (aka 'Solar Powered. Still Miserable.' Edition)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThe Dimetrodon spent its days soaking sunlight through that enormous sail — peak renewable energy, a few hundred million years ahead of schedule. Solar Powered. Still Miserable. is for everyone who recharges completely and feels precisely the same. Full battery, eight hours of sleep, sunshine on tap — and the mood holds at a flat, dependable grey. Not tired. Not broken. Just fully powered and entirely unmoved.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eWhy It's Worth Owning:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[li_\u0026amp;]:mb-0 [li_\u0026amp;]:mt-1 [li_\u0026amp;]:gap-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eSoft ring-spun cotton = the warmth your disposition never got around to producing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eTear-away label = no extra irritation on top of the existing, permanent kind\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eNo side seams = a smooth surface for radiating sunlight and zero enthusiasm in equal measure\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eRibbed collar that keeps its shape even as your mood holds perfectly flat\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eDurable white-on-dark print — bright, unlike the forecast in your head\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eHow to Keep It Alive:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[li_\u0026amp;]:mb-0 [li_\u0026amp;]:mt-1 [li_\u0026amp;]:gap-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eMachine wash cold — you run on sunlight, not warmth, and feel neither\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eTumble dry low, or line-dry in the sun — your one renewable relationship\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eIron low only if you must — the creases won't bring the mood down any further\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eSkip the bleach — the gloom is already perfectly calibrated\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eDo not dry clean — far too much effort for something powered by spite and daylight\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Silent Vibes","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":54359546888538,"sku":"15880169877769183038","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ S","offer_id":54359546921306,"sku":"22350872190409396967","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ S","offer_id":54359546954074,"sku":"26340606514910729880","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":54359546986842,"sku":"15416651000231728033","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ M","offer_id":54359547019610,"sku":"27703924623603231142","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ M","offer_id":54359547052378,"sku":"21227482728804748813","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":54359547085146,"sku":"11114301798001534897","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ L","offer_id":54359547117914,"sku":"12763357776250852878","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ L","offer_id":54359547150682,"sku":"17091549917833217674","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":54359547183450,"sku":"16706736674035999361","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ XL","offer_id":54359547216218,"sku":"29848907337520328071","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":54359547248986,"sku":"31447064800622809726","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":54359547281754,"sku":"32638636119224247169","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":54359547314522,"sku":"20613612344500324302","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0941\/1084\/3226\/files\/271322287409192902_2048.jpg?v=1782404214"}],"url":"https:\/\/silentvibes.shop\/en-eu\/collections\/extinct-from-society.oembed","provider":"Silent Vibes","version":"1.0","type":"link"}