{"product_id":"solar-powered-still-miserable-tee","title":"Solar Powered Still Miserable Tee","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThe Renewable Misery Tee (aka 'Solar Powered. Still Miserable.' Edition)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThe Dimetrodon spent its days soaking sunlight through that enormous sail — peak renewable energy, a few hundred million years ahead of schedule. Solar Powered. Still Miserable. is for everyone who recharges completely and feels precisely the same. Full battery, eight hours of sleep, sunshine on tap — and the mood holds at a flat, dependable grey. Not tired. Not broken. Just fully powered and entirely unmoved.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eWhy It's Worth Owning:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[li_\u0026amp;]:mb-0 [li_\u0026amp;]:mt-1 [li_\u0026amp;]:gap-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eSoft ring-spun cotton = the warmth your disposition never got around to producing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eTear-away label = no extra irritation on top of the existing, permanent kind\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eNo side seams = a smooth surface for radiating sunlight and zero enthusiasm in equal measure\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eRibbed collar that keeps its shape even as your mood holds perfectly flat\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eDurable white-on-dark print — bright, unlike the forecast in your head\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eHow to Keep It Alive:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[li_\u0026amp;]:mb-0 [li_\u0026amp;]:mt-1 [li_\u0026amp;]:gap-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eMachine wash cold — you run on sunlight, not warmth, and feel neither\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eTumble dry low, or line-dry in the sun — your one renewable relationship\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eIron low only if you must — the creases won't bring the mood down any further\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eSkip the bleach — the gloom is already perfectly calibrated\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eDo not dry clean — far too much effort for something powered by spite and daylight\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Silent Vibes","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":54359546888538,"sku":"15880169877769183038","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ S","offer_id":54359546921306,"sku":"22350872190409396967","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ S","offer_id":54359546954074,"sku":"26340606514910729880","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":54359546986842,"sku":"15416651000231728033","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ M","offer_id":54359547019610,"sku":"27703924623603231142","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ M","offer_id":54359547052378,"sku":"21227482728804748813","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":54359547085146,"sku":"11114301798001534897","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ L","offer_id":54359547117914,"sku":"12763357776250852878","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ L","offer_id":54359547150682,"sku":"17091549917833217674","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":54359547183450,"sku":"16706736674035999361","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ XL","offer_id":54359547216218,"sku":"29848907337520328071","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":54359547248986,"sku":"31447064800622809726","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":54359547281754,"sku":"32638636119224247169","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":54359547314522,"sku":"20613612344500324302","price":24.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0941\/1084\/3226\/files\/271322287409192902_2048.jpg?v=1782404214","url":"https:\/\/silentvibes.shop\/en-eu\/products\/solar-powered-still-miserable-tee","provider":"Silent Vibes","version":"1.0","type":"link"}