{"product_id":"armed-tired-leave-me-alone-tee","title":"Armed Tired Leave Me Alone Tee","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThe Armoured Introvert Tee (aka 'Armed. Tired. Leave Me Alone.' Edition)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eSome creatures evolved claws. This one evolved boundaries. Armed. Tired. Leave Me Alone. is for the permanently low-battery — the ones who've been social since the Mesozoic and are thoroughly done with it. A hand-drawn stegosaurus, three honest words, and absolutely no follow-up questions. Perfect for slow mornings, quietly declined invitations, and standing very still until people lose interest. It's not aggression — it's just full armour plating and a dead social battery.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eWhy It's Worth Owning:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[li_\u0026amp;]:mb-0 [li_\u0026amp;]:mt-1 [li_\u0026amp;]:gap-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eSoft ring-spun cotton = armour that actually feels good, unlike the historical kind\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eTear-away label = nothing scratching your neck while you ignore your notifications\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eNo side seams = a clean silhouette for turning your back on a conversation\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eRibbed collar that holds its shape longer than you'll hold eye contact\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eWhite-on-dark print sharp enough to read from a distance — ideally the distance you'd prefer people keep\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eHow to Keep It Alive:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[li_\u0026amp;]:mb-0 [li_\u0026amp;]:mt-1 [li_\u0026amp;]:gap-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eMachine wash cold — low effort, like your social calendar\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eTumble dry low — no heat, no drama, no plans\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eIron low only if you must — though the wrinkles read as extra armour\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eSkip the bleach — the misery is perfect exactly as it is\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eDo not dry clean — that would involve leaving the house\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Silent Vibes","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":54359372071258,"sku":"20739771327646473318","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ S","offer_id":54359372104026,"sku":"24841896879290701748","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ S","offer_id":54359372136794,"sku":"87422946988122822184","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":54359372169562,"sku":"94417443427259388762","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ M","offer_id":54359372202330,"sku":"22159258643326310067","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ M","offer_id":54359372235098,"sku":"33578405425279409936","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":54359372267866,"sku":"32450184896923668562","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ L","offer_id":54359372300634,"sku":"21352766190349320258","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ L","offer_id":54359372333402,"sku":"70873589119703911512","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":54359372366170,"sku":"32237691894460760082","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ XL","offer_id":54359372398938,"sku":"31987807716379702639","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":54359372431706,"sku":"19141841465173946422","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":54359372464474,"sku":"18802541618665259363","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":54359372497242,"sku":"13959002279443073523","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0941\/1084\/3226\/files\/6789567268894020951_2048_91f16e32-81f3-4eb2-9091-65baf76f6923.jpg?v=1782404226","url":"https:\/\/silentvibes.shop\/products\/armed-tired-leave-me-alone-tee","provider":"Silent Vibes","version":"1.0","type":"link"}