{"product_id":"probably-not-coming-back-tee","title":"Probably Not Coming Back Tee","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThe One-Way Trip Tee (aka 'Probably Not Coming Back.' Edition)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThe pterodactyl took one last look at the situation, spread its wings, and made a decision it had no intention of revisiting. Probably Not Coming Back. is for the clean exit — the quiet departure with no forwarding address and no plans to return. Not storming off, nothing so dramatic. Just gone, calmly and permanently, while everyone else assumes you'll be back any minute. You won't.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eWhy It's Worth Owning:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[li_\u0026amp;]:mb-0 [li_\u0026amp;]:mt-1 [li_\u0026amp;]:gap-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eSoft ring-spun cotton = comfort for wherever you're disappearing to\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eTear-away label = one less thing to leave behind, because you're leaving everything behind\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eNo side seams = a clean break, much like the one you're making\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eRibbed collar that holds its shape long after you've stopped holding plans\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eDurable white-on-dark print — the last clear look anyone gets of you\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eHow to Keep It Alive:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[li_\u0026amp;]:mb-0 [li_\u0026amp;]:mt-1 [li_\u0026amp;]:gap-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eMachine wash cold — minimal involvement, in keeping with your exit strategy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eTumble dry low — no rush; you're not going back for it\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eIron low only if you must — though who's left to notice the creases\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eSkip the bleach — the departure is already perfectly clean\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eDo not dry clean — that implies returning to collect it, and you're not the type\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Silent Vibes","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":54365684531546,"sku":"60400220586317681315","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ S","offer_id":54365684564314,"sku":"10877737746009376072","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ S","offer_id":54365684597082,"sku":"30748780799417726308","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":54365684629850,"sku":"85647705285223376099","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ M","offer_id":54365684662618,"sku":"31408501531014190512","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ M","offer_id":54365684695386,"sku":"25974432562691304231","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":54365684728154,"sku":"16006162682510961805","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ L","offer_id":54365684760922,"sku":"32867913733873107462","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ L","offer_id":54365684793690,"sku":"33182182343921721456","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":54365684826458,"sku":"29469714622137520563","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ XL","offer_id":54365684859226,"sku":"86617021906892421958","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":54365684891994,"sku":"11096375629113905030","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":54365684924762,"sku":"29263571223254159848","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":54365684957530,"sku":"39082754552805510470","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0941\/1084\/3226\/files\/4249948301833775949_2048.jpg?v=1782508724","url":"https:\/\/silentvibes.shop\/products\/probably-not-coming-back-tee","provider":"Silent Vibes","version":"1.0","type":"link"}