High Alert Low Social Battery Tee

The Running On Empty Tee (aka 'High Alert. Low Social Battery.' Edition)

This little theropod survived by noticing everything — every sound, every movement, every shift in the room — which is exhausting work, and it shows. High Alert. Low Social Battery. is for the perpetually switched-on: scanning the exits, clocking who just walked in, running threat assessment on a quiet afternoon, all while the energy bar quietly drains to nothing. Fully alert. Completely depleted. Would very much like to go home now.

Why It's Worth Owning:

• Soft ring-spun cotton = one source of input that isn't a threat
• Tear-away label = no surprise irritation from a direction you weren't watching
• No side seams = nothing to catch on as you scan the room for exits
• Ribbed collar that holds its shape better than your composure holds up in a crowd
• Durable white-on-dark print — sharp enough to spot before you've decided whether to bolt

How to Keep It Alive:

• Machine wash cold — sudden heat is exactly the kind of thing you're braced for
• Tumble dry low — keep the surprises to a minimum, it's had enough
• Iron low only if you must — no sudden movements
• Skip the bleach — the nervous system is overstimulated enough already
• Do not dry clean — an unfamiliar place full of strangers is the whole problem