I Woke Up Like This Unfortunately Tee

The Reluctant Dawn Tee (aka 'I Woke Up Like This. Unfortunately.' Edition)

Some creatures greet the morning. This one regained consciousness and immediately regretted it. I Woke Up Like This. Unfortunately. is for anyone whose day begins not with energy but with a slow, grim acceptance that it's happening again. No alarm survived the encounter. No plans were made. Just a tiny-armed apex predator, fully awake against its will, facing the day with the enthusiasm of someone who would much rather still be asleep.

Why It's Worth Owning:

• Soft ring-spun cotton = forgiving on a body that did not consent to being upright
• Tear-away label = no extra grievance first thing in the morning
• No side seams = nothing digging in while you lie there reconsidering the whole day
• Ribbed collar that recovers its shape faster than you recover from waking up
• Durable white-on-dark print — bleak enough to be honest, before you've had any coffee

How to Keep It Alive:

• Machine wash cold — mornings are hard enough without added heat
• Tumble dry low — slow and low, the only acceptable pace before noon
• Iron low only if you must — the wrinkles match your general outlook anyway
• Skip the bleach — the gloom is functioning exactly as intended
• Do not dry clean — that requires being awake, dressed, and outside, and we're not there yet