Retired Extrovert Distressed Cap – Funny Introvert Hat for Former Social Butterflies & Homebodies

The Socially Retired Cap (aka ‘Retired Extrovert’ Edition)

You’ve clocked out of conversations — permanently. Retired Extrovert is the perfect cap for those who’ve officially ended their small-talk career and transitioned into full-time peace and quiet.

Pre-distressed for that “been there, done that” look, this hat adds just the right amount of shade — literally and emotionally. Ideal for errands, solo strolls, or silently judging from a comfortable distance.

Why It’s Worth Owning:

- 100% cotton twill = breathable fabric for quietly judging in comfort

- Six-panel design + curved visor = peak resting-unimpressed face coverage

- Adjustable strap with metal slider = fits all heads, even overthinking ones

- Distressed finish = that “effortless” look without actually putting in any effort

- Lightweight & comfy enough to wear all day (aka while ignoring calls)

How to Keep It Alive:

- Spot clean with warm water + dish soap — no full-on laundry commitment

- Air dry, because tossing it in the wash is asking for regrets

- Distressing ages better the more you ghost plans